I used to say, I was broken. Now I say, I was BROKEN OPEN.
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🦋 BROKEN OPEN = When we change our thinking from being held down / beaten down / broken down to seeing our experiences as opportunities to EMERGE from the chrysalis. To TRANSFORM and TRANSCEND.
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Divorce, job loss, family discord, financial struggles, health issues - or in many cases, all of the above - can lead to a lack or self-confidence that seeps so deep within your soul, that it changes your sense of self. It changes your identity to "I am broken".
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SIS - this is what I know for sure... YOU have the power to change your self-imposed labels. If you keep telling yourself, "I'm broken" or "I'm incapable" or "I'm unlovable", you will indeed become that person. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy. But you can use that concept to your advantage by changing your internal language.
🦋 Step 1. Changing negative thoughts to proactive thoughts. Over the next week, every time you have a negative thought about yourself, stop and address it. Change it from "I am so stupid" to "I am learning every day". Change it from "I can't do that" to "I will keep trying to do that".
🦋 Step 2. Creating positive self-talk regularly. Once you've mastered Step 1, eliminate the necessity of a negative cue in order to have a positive thought. Now, you just have the positive thought. Elevate your self-awareness to recognize when yo do something well. It can be as small as, I am proud that I hugged my spouse/dog/kid today, to something bigger (but often not appreciated) like I'm proud that I stood up for myself when my boss/mom/neighbor said something condescending. It is so easy to brush these important moments of victory under the rug without taking the time to appreciate that we did something worth celebrating.
🦋 Step 3. Voicing positive self-talk. Women so often squelch our proud moments for fear of being judged boastful or pretentious. Or sometimes we worry we make others feel bad so we minimize our accomplishments by saying "anyone could've done it" or "it's no big deal". Uh-uh. Stop right there and turn that bus around Sis. Let me tell you something girlfriend, if you are worried about others passing negative judgement.. those are not your people. True friends and allies bask in your glory as a testament to what is possible for us all. Your story could be the key to helping someone unlock their potential because you have shown them it can be done. And the boomerang benefit is that when we share our wins, it helps us truly appreciate our achievements. So the next time you dole out some parental advice that has a positive impact on your child, tell everyone. Tell your friends, your spouse, your coworkers, your hairdresser. Every share contributes to your self-confidence and motivation for the future acts of greatness.
🦋 Step 4. Change your Label. When you take the time to implement the self-awareness techniques I I have outlined, your self-confidence will expand. You will no longer identify as someone broken. Instead, your labels will be "I am wise", "I am renewed", "I am strong".
Always remember this 👉 You CHOOSE to not break, but to break free!
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Save this and use it as a reminder that you have wings my friend. 🦋